hopefullyyyy

i can register by tomorrow. and hopefullyyyyy the classes i want are still open. its weird how for some reason i've been thinking about my ex a lot more than i should be. and i don't like it. i really don't. :( its not like i try and think about him he just pops up and its fucking frustrating. and i don't know what to dooooo. fjsajsdhhasjsojsfidjajklsklfjalasissshdssdjksshit

this is bullshit!

i just wanted to register for classes and be in college and i go to do it and it says i have a hold! a hold?!!! what the fuck i just wanna be in college allfuckingready. shit! now i'm pissed off. grrrreat. whatthefuckever. i'll try again tomorrow i guess :/ i know what classes i wanna take just fucking give them to me already! ah! going downtown today maybeee.... i miss the old days when the group was a solid group and we weren't separated into different groups. the break up changed everything. but we all knew it would. i can't do anything about it. I JUST FUCKING WISH HE WOULD TALK TO ME instead of acting like i don't exist :( thats the only thing i hate: not being able to talk to him. it kills me. i just wanna be friends again dammit. oh i guess i don't fit in though because i don't fucking do acid and shrooms and get fucked up and fuck nasty beat hoes every weekend. damn you are right, i do hold my anger in. well maybe if we still talked i would be able to let some of it out. but noooooooooooooo you're too good for me now. ha. fuckity fuck fuck. and you know what else sucks?? craig left the word alive to remain in escape the fate. so when i see them on saturday i won't be able to see that sexy thing. ASS!!!! how depressing. theres so much more to say but its all angry stuff so i'll stop here. i think imma go to target right now. buy me some chocolate bahahahaha

two entries in one day wow

my tummy hurts like a bitch :/ just got back from dinner. maybe it was the dinner. i'm sick of people talking bad about my friends when they don't know shit about them. they mean the world to me and i know them better than you do so shut it! andrews going to be 21 soon how exciting :) lucky bitch gets to be in vegas that day.  but hopefully he'll come back soon so we can partay!!!!! yeah i pretty much just came on to bitch about people talking shit on my friends. i freaking love every single one of them. 

i got a macbook bitchesssss

be jealous :) i looove it!! and guess what? i register for college classes tomorrow! no idea what i'm going to take yet though.  i wanna take human sexuality and english and ummm maybe a first aid class and then idk what the last class should be. dinner at the beach tonight. yayy. not much else to say. wanna go to the word alive show on saturday, wanna have a bonfire, wanna have a girls night soon. and i wanna go christmas shopping too. gotta get all my friends presents :) and myself some things too haha. gotta go to dinner soooo PEACE!

dollar bookstores

are creeepyyyy. but they have cute kitties there :) i really really really like being single. i'm in no mood to have a boyfriend right now. i don't even think i'm emotionally ready yet. however i feel a lot of pressure from different people to hook up with someone and i really don't want to. i don't want to lead people on either but i'm kind of a big flirt :/ i can name at least five guys who i'm preeeetty sure like me and this may sound really egotistical of me but i'm not even happy because of it. its scary. its like the minute i became single suddenly i was a blip on every guys radar. sure its fun but i feel really really overwhelmed right now. i have worse things to worry about. like family matters. i don't need the stress of a boyfriend right now. i just like having fun. and i don't wanna be a whore and hook up with a bunch of guys either. thats not what i'm saying. i haven't done anything more than kissing since i got out of my last relationship, funny that my ex can't say the same. i just like taking things reallyyyyyyyy slow and thats what i'm going to do and if people can't respect that then whatever. the bringmethehorizon show was so much fun!!!! andrew came and it was really nice seeing him since i last saw him at scary farm. funny how both times i saw him he had been drinking. whatev though i hope he comes home soon from touring so he can throw a party at his super nice house :) bonfire tomorrow possibly, if it doesn't rain. the word alive show december 6th :) :) :) and the best thing of all??? i saw steph yesterday!!! i'm so happy. i miss her. i wanna start hanging out with her more again. i miss hanging out with people my age haha. i drove today twice and didn't crash. woo!!

headache :/

ran into a pole haha. my head hurts. and i have a big bump. not used to so much guy attention. its weirdddd. but whatever being single is funnnn. i might do something this weekend that would shock half the people that know me. maybe i'm ready to change, take a few risks. everyone needs to have fun sometimes, even if its not the best choices. ah whatever if i make no sense its because i hit my head haha. hungryyyy. wanna go to taco surf. get a brandi salad. miss him. hate him. its so confusing. fuck this fuck that lick my nutsack :) hanging out with chad tomorrow maybeeee. hopefully. fun stuff.

heyyyy shitface

if you wanted me to get over you then you could have just been fucking honest with me because everything you did just hurt me worse and it didn't make me get over you. you could have told me "yeah i wanna hook up with a bunch of girls and do a bunch of drugs and be a whore" and i would have fucking been alright with it because at least you would have told me the fucking truth. but noooooo now you have to go and hook up with my friend and just hurt me worse. wow. and then you had the audacity to finally talk to me last night as i walk up and see her on your lap. why did you wait so long to talk to me? i tried so hard to make things not be awkward every time you're around but all you do is act like i don't exist. thanks a lot. you suck :(