its late :/

and i can't sleep. this fucking heater is making noise and its pissing me off. i finally downloaded limewire. i don't know how i survived without it. i don't even feel one bit tired. its pretty lame. did all my christmas shopping so theres one less stress. i guess i must be a little tired because i can't type for shiiitttt. i don't know how well i'll sleep though.

in case you forgot:

blogspot= freedom of speech. don't like what i write? don't read it. its that simple. i can talk shit on whoever i want on here. hate me for it..i personally don't give a shit. its my opinion and i choose to voice it. i never once talked shit on you about it anyways on here so i don't see why you hate me. the liferuiner is over, uninvited of course. jamie better get back inside soon so we can finish doing what we were doing and get on with our day without anymore interruption. veronica brought me a mix cd which i'm in love with :) last night at chad's was so much fun. poor brian had to walk home alone from there though at like midnight. jamie was so funny hahaha. "i don't know what to do with a virgin" hahaha i love that girl.

oh yeah, we had to put peanut to sleep :( it was one of the toughest things to go through, but he was in pain so it was better for him i guess. i miss him so much though. salem isn't coping too well with it either. 

i have really bad anger problems :/ last night was a really good example of that. i tend to bottle up my emotions then release them unexpectedly. its probably not the best thing to do but i can't help it. honestly i don't know what would have happened last night if i didn't walk off. i'm not making a threat or anything but i probably would have beat the shit out of someone last night. 

soooo... :(

my kitty peanut is dying :( i'm so sad. its not good. the only pets i've had die on me before are goldfish.. i'm so scared.
winter break is going to be busy for sure. theres a lot of people i need to hang out with. as soon as i get free time i'll hang out with: andrew, anders, randall, brian, chad, cory, rory, cole, oliver, chase, and anyone else who wants to hang out. yeahhhhh plus my cousins might be coming down too. so brandi is going to be a busy busy girl this break. oh yeah and i gotta get a job. awesome.
its weird having my dad home. i don't like it actually. sometimes i kinda wish he was still gone... we adjusted so fine without him now he's back and its frustrating.
might go to chino today. who knows. might hang out with bre and brad and his friends...maybe i'll meet a new boy. don't really care because i don't need one. ha.
gotta go to the vet :/

N00DZ!!!!

what are best friends for??? hahahahahaha. friday night just made me and bre's friendship become stronger. i wouldn't have done that shit for anyone else. my throat hurts. how lame. chain show was alright. i got so mad at like 5908482369 people there though. almost got in two fights... wow. christmas is in nine days. scaryyy. dad comes home tonight. its going to be weird. two months without him... i don't know how it will be because i took up the fatherly role practically while he was gone. it will be weird because i won't have to worry about mom as much. maybe it will give me more free time. i hope. i've got a long list of people who i need to hang out with. the boy situation is a bit on the lame side. andrew and i text like every three days and its only like hour long conversations now. i hope he's home now from celebrating his 21st bday in vegas. but i honestly dont see a relationship out of him anyways just like a longdistancemesswithmyemotionspieceofshitthing. and me and bre are going to chino on friday to hang out with her lover and his friends..we'll see how that goes. thats about it. i wanna hang out with the group again....like really badly...but idk how awkward things would be :(

team brian!!

whooo! haha sorry i had like 92384237482672672188 sugar cookies today and am bouncing off the walls. you know what sucks about christmas time? all the stupid lovey dovey movies they have out. okay well actually i dont think the amount changes at christmas but i just seem to notice them more. i hate this. i used to be so happy being single and independent and la dee dah. now i miss having that special someone to be there for me. shitty mcshitpants. and i don't mean to be a bitch right now but its like the guys i do want don't care about me and the guys that really really piss me off are the only ones making an effort. so someone from my past came back in my...wait...scratch that, TWO people from my past are trying to come back in my life. and it would be fine if they were people who i didn't put in my past for a reason. but no. soooo fuckity fuck fuck them. and theres a really ugly lady in front of me haha. and i hate how boys won't hook up with a girl just because their friend went out with them. um hello that friend of yours doesn't care about me anymore so he probably wouldn't care if you hooked up with me you dumbshit. i really hate having to limit what i write in here because of who i think might read this. theres so much i really really wish i could talk about. but i can't because i think certain people would get upset. i miss jamie. she's never home. she's always with kurt. but she tells me she likes brian. but she doesn't do shit to get away from kurt. and then she gets mad when brian flirts with other girls and its like hello dummy do you not see what you're doing to him by spending every fucking waking second with that fucking douchebag? oh yeah i guess you don't. oh yeah but you hooked up with brian twice and didn't tell kurt. i wonder who will tell him. some lurker who reads my blogspot probably. awesome. i can't think of anything i want for christmas except for a zuboutique shirt. buy me one: zuboutique.com :)

sugar cookies!!!!!

taste so freaking bomb right out of the oven :) gonna get the dark knight todayyy yay!! stick to your fucking guns this saturday holy sheeeitttt with attack attack! my lovers. gonna tear that pit a new asshole bahahahahahaha we'll see. ummm not much to say. but there are some crazy people in this room. papa and grandma might come down soon :) miss those fools. i miss randall too :( and huntie :( and anders. sometimes that hairy kid too but hey what do you expect. they sell glasses at 7-11 that intensify the christmas lights when you look at them. don't tell the acid heads haha. ah i feel like i've been kinda mean lately but i don't do it on purpose. gotta get in the christmas spirit soon. and i gotta get jamie a present. damn ho. if only they invented anti-kurt spray. maybe i'd buy her some. who's going to watch a double shot at love with the ikki twins? definitely not me. house better be on tonight though. me and bre are going to speed zone!!! :)

i registered!

for classesssss!!!!!!!!!! yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy :)

i'm sooo happy :)

p.s. underneath the gun and the word alive were amazing <3

styg next saturday!