stage one:

denial. wow. i knew it was going to be hard, but i didn't know it was going to be thisss hard. breaking down every five minutes really isn't a good thing at all. i've been crying since tuesday night. i miss him so fucking much. just looking at him and knowing he isn't mine anymore KILLS me. and every thing reminds me of him which causes me to break down again. i can't do this. i wish i could have saved our relationship when i saw it was failing, i tried but it didn't work. now i feel so empty. everyone tells me i'll find someone better but there is nothing better. that boy came into my life and made me happy, even when i was mad at him i was still happy. he's amazing. he was my everything. now i'm nothing. i opened up like i've never opened up before, i was completely comfortable with him. he knew me better than anyone else. he knows things about me no one knows. the thought of anyone else with him kills me. those are my spots, thats my territory. well it was at least. i haven't been able to go through all 200 texts i have of his. thats probably going to be the hardest part. idk actually maybe accepting this will be the hardest thing i ever do. i would kill to get him back. just one more chance please. i can't do this.