spring break

has been pretty lame. i can't lie. it's not how i expected it to go at all. my boyfriend has spent the whole week at kurts house and i can't even hang out with kurt because i'm always with jamie. therefore i dont get to see cody as much as i would like. sucks. and last night kurt guilt tripped me into thinking i ditched my boyfriend to hang out with jasmin and all of them... but i didn't ditch cody. we never made plans to hang out. i wanted to see him. i really really really did. but i was told by kurt not to leave jamie with jasmin and them and that's who i was hanging out with so i couldn't leave her and meet up with cody and everyone and knowing kurt he would probably have another excuse for me to not hang out with them. I JUST WANT TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND!!! fuckkkk. and hopefully kurt and his posse come to the market tonight so i can see cody. i'm so frustrated right now and i really want someone to talk to. maybe hunter, i tried talking to him last night but he was drunk :/ i need more sober friends. saturday will be mine and cody's two months so i better get to hang out with him that day. or i'll rip someone's throat out. i have this awful feeling that things aren't right. but i get like this with every boy. it's so hard to think positive when there's so much negative drama going on around me. well tomorrow i'm going to the mall to pick out a prom dress. i haven't even asked him to prom yet though, i know he hates dances :/ but it's my last dance of high school and i really want to go. gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i feel like throwing up. i hate being in the middle of things. i just want to go to the market tonight and get the biggest icee ever made and eat it all. sour apple and vanilla. mmmmmmmmmm :) and hopefully kerensa goes because she seems really nice and our group needs better influences. no offense but i can't stand having immature freshman in it. and i really really want to see steph soon. she would probably make me feel better about everything. my spring break has been so jaksjfkajajalajafhfsfhhaaaa and honestly i dont see it improving any time soon. i have so much expectations. but whatever. this is what i get for hanging out with people younger than me :/