i need happy pills

and no i dont mean ecstasy.  my life could be really good right now but theres that thing in the back of my head that isn't letting me live life to the fullest. its that stupid negative thought that i really need to handle. i'm just scared. i hate confrontation. its something i don't know how to bring up..."umm so i know you've been pretending you don't...when i know you do and everyone tells me you do so tell me before things get any worse and it ends up hurting me a lot more than it does right now" thats basically what i need to say. but i NEVER confront people. i absolutely hate it. so what do i do? i live life and let that thing eat away at me until i'm just a hollow shell of who i really am. nah. if things dont improve i'll think about doing something. but why ruin someones happiness just to make myself happy? the "k" on my keyboard is barely working. i hate that. my itunes is playing all the songs i don't want to hear. i need to get ready for a party tonight but i have no idea what to wear. and the people who i hang out with are really starting to bore me. i feel terrible but its true.