i'm lying to myself

just to make myself happy. but i know my biggest fears are going to come true soon. i can tell. i just know it. i have some major trust issues, i trust way too easily. i don't know why i'm so nice to people because i always get fucked over for trusting them too fast. its almost like a slap in the face to me, people think i'm actually that dumb but the truth is i can read you like a book. jamies ex started talking to me again and trying to be friends again and of course i was like "sure we can be friends again but you hurt us so badly its going to take time to get back to the friendship we had" WELLLL he's like trying to rush this friendship and act like i'm his bestfriend and sometimes it even seems like he wants more (oh dear god) and i found out he's had a gf since like august but he hasn't said one word about her to me.  i FUCKING hate when guys have girlfriends and think i'll get with them. it pisses me off. do i just scream homewrecker or something?? i'm not like that anymore, that was three years ago when i was immature and naive. so theres one stress in my life. then my sister has some drama going on in her life but when does she not have drama. i wish i felt like something good was going to happen soon but it feels like everything i don't want to happen will end up happening. i hate that feeling. oh wellll. my english class has a blogspot. weird. irhktiwybichy.