spilling everything

wow. this has seriously been like the most depressing month ever. as of roughly 5 o clock sunday evening my life got pretty fuckin depressing. eviction?? idk even know what to call it. but i haven't slept in my house since saturday night, i've had to live at my cracked out alcoholic aunts house with my adhd 7 year old cousin who still wears diapers. jamie, haylee, and myself have been confined to sleeping in the same bed. luckily haylee has been gone for the past two nights so jamie and i got to stretch out a little more. and if things couldn't get any worse my dad's car like died on him yesterday and we're out of a car until it gets fixed. wow my life sure is fucked. but the mechanic is coming today and there's a good chance we'll be staying at a hotel tonight instead of this hell hole. its one of the most embarrassing things i've had to go through and i haven't really told anyone about it, until like now. but i don't even know who reads this shit so i'll never know who knows and who doesn't. but this whole situation is nothing new to me, we got kicked out of our apartment when i was a freshman and jamie and i got to stay with my papa and grandma for about three months. hopefully we're not homeless for that long this time. wow its so depressing...fuck. honestly, the thought of just offing myself has crossed my mind. but i know it would kill jamie. i could never do it. so don't trip fools. but like on a scale of one to ten my life is like a 3. it would be so much lower if i didn't have cody in my life. that boy has no idea how much he means to me. he's gotten me through so much shit and he doesn't even know. sooo i gotta go shower in my aunts freezing cold shower since the gas got turned off and there's no hot water. i can only keep my head up and hope things get better, all i need is the support of everyone <3

p.s. i drove kurts car yesterday it was mucho mucho fun!!! :)