victoria was supposed to take me to a party tonight that i got all dressed up for. but she ditched me to get a ride with jasmin. so im at home because jerrys car was full. where the fuck have my real friends gone? im so sick of feeling ditched. i even bought a new jacket today just for this party. oh well caleb might take me and if he does i plan on getting drunk and forgetting about all of the lame ass "friends" i have.

getting ready for tonight. connor crowe is dj-ing some party. i'm going to buffalo to get a new blazer just to look extra cute :)

im so frustrated!

just had a lunch/dinner/linner???? with my lovely grandparents at angelos and vincis. when we got out i saw some of my friends. including c. but only randall said hi. theres a stupid ride situation going on with prom right now and jamie and i basically got ditched out of a ride. and victoria doesnt even fucking care.

jamie got a prom dress :)
it looks so so so so so good on her
now we both gotta find shoesies
c has texted me late at night for the past two nights
well last night he texted me at 930 and i was pretty drunk and i dont remember much of what i said to him
the night before that he texted me at 1 right when i was about to pass out and we talked for ten minutes
he never used to text me on the weekends. idk what this means though

look its meeee :)

so my former boss for the flyers offered me my concessions job back and of course i said yes
now im just waiting for a confirmation reply :)

bonfire at tom's last night
got a little tipsy
then went over to c's at 1030ish
watched randall play call of booty
then watched most of angels and demons (that movie is gross)
and cuddled with c the rest of the night
then shitface had to get up at 8 to go to some college open house
he came back at like 2 all excited about this damn art college
i should be happy for him but a part of me wanted him to go to fjc
oh welll
i left there at like 3
and now im just waiting for victoria to be ready for me to come visit her
i might see c again later tonight, i hope.

c and i made plans to hang out tonight
but now he's lagging on the texting and its almost 8 :/
ughhhh

aksdjfaklsjkldfsaja c texted me tonight but i think he just wanted me to come over and stay the night but i cant cuz i have escuela tomorrow
oh welllllll he can deal with it
ill probably see him this weekend anyways
i got to see victoria for the past two days
it was nice :)
she cant talk though and it makes me sad to see her in so much pain from having her tonsils removed
have i mentioned how much im going to miss her when she moves away?

so i tried texting c about hanging out tomorrow
and it didnt work out
the little shit didnt reply :/

house was a whirlwind of emotion! ah it was sad and happy and sad again and i cried like a little baby.
busy day tomorrow. gonna hang with mindy at noon then math test at 1 then scheduling a counselor appt and hopefully a workshop so i get my school shit finalized. then going to the financial aid office and wondering where the eff my cal grant money is. then maybe visiting victoria after her surgery if she's not too doped up on meds haha.

school tomorrow. lame.
this weekend was aight. <--haha
i hope it doesnt rain tomorrow
got to sleep over at c's last night
he pretty much paid no attention to me until it was time to leave the party and then all of a sudden he was cute
so i decided to stay the night and i guess i got what i wanted from it
i think.

didn't get hired :(

i had a job interview at spoon deep yesterday. a lot of people applied. ugh :/ i hope i get the job. im supposed to find out today befor noon. im so nervous. if i get this job then i cant take summer school which means...idk...but i think it kinda messes up my school plan. and if i get this job then i probably wont have as much time to spend with c BUT hey maybe thats a good thing. victoria got into new york and thats my second best friend to move to new york. im going to miss her so much. but im not thinking that far ahead yet. i'll just enjoy the time i have left with her.

i just went driving and didnt kill anyone :)

these boys are seriously my two favorite people. beer pong at c's last night. who thought that would ever happen haha. didnt go to bed until 5 AM and got up before noon. i am freaking tired but i'll probably go back out later when c decides what's going on tonight.

this is how i feel right now. frustrated as hell. no real idea why either. c doesnt wanna go to the motel party tonight because he thinks it's a "bust" but he's gone to three other motel parties at the same place. jamie is with faggle kurt even though he's STD ridden and she is somehow believing his lies again. im STILL sick. went and tried on that gold prom dress i loved last night but i tried it on without a bra today and it didnt fit as snugly. ugh. i thought i was getting used to having a thing with c the same way i had a thing with covellHO but it's not turning out that way. i just want a fucking relationship or some sort of mutual agreement between the two of us. and i really really dont want that bitch going to prom with us. there i said it. she still hates me for some crazy reason and i didnt do shit to her. it's not like c cheated on her with me. it was the other way around. ugh whatever people just need to grow up. and im sick of salt. he pisses me off so much. everything that comes out of his mouth. he's so full of it. and i fucking hate how people think IM drama. i better fucking get laid this weekend or i'll have one more thing to bitch about.

pleassseee let tonight go well.
<3