hung out with chuck and his friends last night at a party. i had fun. didn't get home until 3 am. it was so cold. haven't really talked to c all weekend but its not like he has to spend time with me every weekend. not really looking forward to another week of school :/

yep

this weekend probably won't be a good one :/

i'm so overwhelmed with school :(
my math book costs 170 dollars!!!
ugh
and i still need my communications book too.
it's only the second week and i'm already so stressed out
there's so much work constantly this semester
i don't know how i'll survive
hopefully i can get a break this weekend and just hangout with everyone

i stayed over at c's saturday night. i ran into him at a party and after i had left it he texted me saying he wanted me to stay over. that was fun :) HOUSE was on tonight and it was really good. i love that show. biology was alright today. i overslept this morning though so i was rushed when i woke up an hour late. i'm really content with all of my classes so far. had statistics homework tonight but that was easy. hopefully it stays easy haha. i bought my bio book today and i still have to get my statistics book and my interpersonal communication book titled "You Are Not the Center of the Universe" I have a good feeling that class is going to help me a lot! Bad Girls Club is on tomorrow and taco tuesday also so hopefully its a fun tuesday. except its probably going to rain. oh well just as long as its not when i'm walking to class.

audacity was amazing last night. black lips were pretty good as well. the show was very fun. i thought it would be awkward being the only girl in the car with connor kevin ryan and josh but they were all so nice to me and it was fun drinking with them haha. i got to see steph :) we only got to talk for a little but i'm really happy i got to see her and hopefully we can hang out again soon for a longer period of time. after the show we went and got kogi but i didn't want anything so i pretty much watched them stuff their faces haha. then after that we drove to frat row and went to matt's birthday party. it was freezing cold and we stayed there until 1:30 and i didn't really do anything there except talk to steph. i got to see kelly last night too that was really cool. i had more fun than i expected i would but at the same time i still would have rather spent the night with c.

going to the audacity show tonight! kevin will be giving me a ride and connor is selling me an extra ticket of his :) super super excited! i get to party with audacity after the show. yeah bitches be jealous haha. i probably will get to see steph too and i haven't seen her since....the summer i think? maybe even longer than that. the only thing i'm upset about is not being able to hang out with c tonight since this is the only night we can hang out this weekend. he's going to knotts tomorrow so i probably won't see him until sunday. but i'll show up after school today to get a few hours in haha.
class was super fun today and super easy. i found eric before class so i made sure to sit by him so i knew at least one person. unfortunately there was a crazy cat lady sitting in front of us who wouldnt shut up about her cats and she even pulled out pictures of them and showed them to me!! crazy people i swear. when we got out of class it was raining so eric offered to drive me home :) i'm really glad he's in my class. we haven't had a class together since elementary school haha. hopefully he doesn't transfer out.

it's freaking pouring outside and i have to walk to class in an hour and a half
i don't even know what to wear i'm running out of all of my warm clothes haha
i didn't talk to c at all yesterday :/ oh well he needs his space sometimes
the kitten is being fucking hyper and its pissing me off because he thinks my leg is a chew toy
statistics today. i hope my school isn't flooded. i did my homework for class last night it was lame
and we have a vocab quiz next week. who the hell has vocab quizzes in math??
i have a girl crush on my bio teacher haha she's freaking gorgeous and she has a british accent and has lived in africa and japan and london and scotland and i am really excited to have her as a teacher
if its not raining at three maybe i can walk over to angelos and say hi to everyone for a bit
that would be nice haha
gonna get ready now!

happy 20th birthday bridget

wherever you may be.
my first and most favorite best friend. i sincerely miss her so much and even though i haven't seen her in 6 years or talked to her in 5 years i think about her all the time. i hope she's doing okay. idk if she's still living in new york or anything. i don't even know if she's still alive. i can only hope for the best for her.
class was chill today. so many asians in my statistics class though! and we already have homework assigned :/
i'm not looking forward to waking up early tomorrow for biology
hopefully its not raining when i have to walk to school
it rained today and i got soaked!
but the thunder and lightning made it better :)
bad girls club is on tonight i hope they don't kick off flo :/

long ass three day weekend haha
stayed at c's house last night and watched inglorious basterds and casino royale
stayed up until 6 in the fucking morning
randall showed up around noon so i got like 6 hours of sleep
it was pouring earlier
went home around 5 30
now i'm working on c's econ essay thats due tomorrow haha
school tomorrow! don't know what time and what room but i'll look it up
kinda nervous kinda excited
woo!

rain!!!!!

it's raining :) its supposed to rain all week which sucks because i don't want to have to walk to school in that shit but whatever. i'm planning on going over to c's house later but he's laggingggggggggg
ah i hate this waiting haha
i just wanna cuddle and listen to the rain but i guess i can wait
i barely got any sleep last night
was out until two in the morning with victoria
so much fun
c was at a rave and got to meet rusko! i'm so jealous
that boy better text me soon or imma shoot him

last night was really fun. kickback at matt's pad. fun stuff. then lindsey showed up and had a talk with me hahahaha i'm so glad c stopped talking to her. then at like midnight c and i went to his house and i slept over and then got picked up at two today. cuteeeee stuff :)
suicide silence tonight hellfuckingyes
c will be at a rave
girly time with victoria tonight. maybe an all nighter but i'm hella tired

whooooooooooooo!

"i miss you damnit"
omg omg omg he hasn't said that to me since we were going out haha
it made me smile all big last night
i don't wanna say much because i don't wanna jinx anything
buttttt i'm happy with the way things are going
no idea whats going to happen tonight
maybe a sleepover??
i hope hope<3

"these arent leaving my face"

aww :) c likes his present. he likes them a lot actually. thank goodness. this situation is weird. i'm still adjusting to being happy again. i was so used to being mad at him haha. i learned a lot from that break we had. i overreact a lot so imma try my hardest this time to not let the little things get to me. i really have to work on my jealousy issues too :/ but i'll do it dammit. i don't wanna go through that shit again.
went to spaghetti factory last night with kerensa and karl and jamie. it was so good! but retarded me left my to go box on the table hahahaha. i wanted those leftovers too dammit. three day weekend coming up. suicide silence for freeeeeeee on saturday :) sleepover at c's too probably once this weekend. hopefully. then school starts on tuesday and i'm so so so excited!

HOUSE is on tonight :) my kitten scratched my pointer finger so it hurts to type now gah. hopefully today is good. i gotta help miss victoria with her paper later on today. one week until school starts! :D

tom's birthday was...interesting. since i'm running on one hour of sleep i'll make it brief:
c talked to me for the first time since like christmas
he doesn't even like that bitch, she just likes him
so i kinda freaked out for nothing :/
he apologized for being a douche though and he NEVER apologizes so that was pretty cool
and long story short we ended up falling asleep under harley's stairs at like 5 in the morning
:)

i totally came here with something to write but then i forgot about it. i'm super stressed. and i'm still sick :/ i sound like a man when i talk haha. so a guy friend of mine has been hinting that he wants to date me and take me out and i'm not ready to start dating again but i don't know how to nicely tell him that. i'm afraid if i do anything that might hurt him he'll stop talking to me like he did with bre. gah :/ i wish c would go to tom's party tomorrow but he "doesn't want drama". it really hurts me that he thinks i'll start drama. i'm only trying to make things with him friendly and not hostile but he doesn't see that. i'm not trying to get him back or anything. i'm doing my best to make him happy by staying away from him and letting him do what he wants. it's killing me though but i've always put his feelings before mine so its hard to stop now. if i had it my way though i would talk to him and tell him exactly how i feel. wishful thinking i guess.

i've been keeping myself busy so as not to think about him. i'm doing a pretty good job at it too. unfortunately i don't know how much longer i'll be able to occupy myself. i'm almost finished with the new stephen king book and i've been reading it nonstop for the past three days. i guess i'll have to find something else after that. i hate being sick. i feel like shit. i just wanna be able to get out of the house but i don't know when i'll be healthy enough.
i think he's found someone better.
but i'm doing my best not to think about that.

shit shit shit shit shit
everything is so lame
and i'm sick
and i hate it
i wish i could get away for a while
everyones being so dumb lately

last night was kind of fun. except the guy i was trying to get with the whole night ended up liking jamie instead. i feel so insignificant around her. i hate feeling like the ugly sister when she's around. life is really sucking right now and i hate it. i hate feeling depressed the minute i wake up. its all his fucking fault too.

i guess he brought that cunt to a party last night. its a good thing i wasn't there. he better not bring her around whenever i'm there or i'll cut a bitch.

i hate how everyone is telling me to get over it. well duh its what i'm trying to do but its not like i can get over it in two seconds. and i can't believe randall said i should have seen it coming. how was i supposed to see it coming?? it happened only a week after spending the whole weekend with him. if there were signs of a girl i obviously didn't see them. and if someone else saw it coming maybe they should have told me. this fucking sucks and i hate the shit out of this situation.