Tuesday, October 7, 2008

closure

is all i want. just one more talk. to say thank you. for everything. if you knew how amazing you are, if you knew how much you impacted my life, if you knew how happy i was with you. if only you knew... i know the next girl will be so lucky. i can't help but feeling jealous. i want one more chance just to see if we can make it work this time. i promise i'll talk, there won't be any worry of a comunication gap. i cared the whole time, i just didn't show it as well as i should have. i know thats why we aren't together anymore, because i should have been there for you instead of distancing myself and giving you your space. i saw it a month before it happened, i was just in denial the whole time. then when it hit me it was such a shock, because we had our good moments in between the bad i always thought there was hope. i guess you had other thoughts. but hey i'll always be there for you i promise. as long as you're happy i am. no matter what. i just tried keeping you happy throughout our relationship. i guess i didn't do a good job at it. :(
the single life is hard. its weird having guys on my nuts already. and whats really bad is they're close friends of cody. some friendship. ha. one of the guys that wants me shares codys name haha weirddd. i have no interest in any of them. its too soon. plus i have this really bad habit of comparing them all to cody. i have all these expectations and i fear i'll never find anyone as good as him. i'll be single forever.
so the new house is alright. just up the street from my old one. its nice not being homeless anymore.
this weekend helped big time. i had so much fun with bre, aaron, nathan, cody kha and michael :) too bad i wont be here this weekend to have more fun with them. but im so excited for nevada you have no idea. i wont be home until the 17th if i'm lucky. thats going to be hard not seeing my fullerton family for that long :/ everyone better get their goodbyes in on thursday. then when i come back we'll party for sure :)
i'll end this on a happy note haha. i never thought me and silky bitch would be friends. but it turns out he never hated me. haha.

1 comment:

Mike Paciello said...

once again I can totally related to everything you say about the subject. Cute Without The E by TBS racked up like 1000 plays on my itunes only because of the line "why cant i feel anything from anyone other than you" ... lol what i found was it sucks being single but it sucks even more not having anyone your interested in which is what ive been going thru for like 4 months.
i find it really bad ass that you air this out so publicly when ive kept everything hidden from view.