sweat and sex

spent the night at kurt's last night with the boyfreeeend and jamie and kurt of course. nothing too crazy haha. spent roughly five hours if not more, making out. it was really cute. i had such a good time. he's such a cute boyfriend :) he does the cutest things it makes me smile :) :) :) we got to cuddle, that was cute :) and waking up and looking at him sleeping was cute too :) he snores hahahaha. i'm so sore gah my shoulders ass and thighs hurt. and i'm so tired because i got like four hours of sleep total. probably less. kurts room totally smelled like sweat and sex in the morning. haha gross. but i wont go there. so hopefully theres another sleepover like that in the next few weeks or such because cuddling with my bf is super fun :)

taken.

as of yesterday at roughly 1:35 you could say. on the way to lunch he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said "what took you so long?" haha. ahhhh he's so cute :) like seriously. omg. his smile makes me weak in the knees. and just the cute simple kisses and the random txts i'll get from him make me sooo happy. and like ah i could talk forever but it's not even day two yet and i'm already getting mushy on him. <3

woo

last night was really fun :) i spent three hours in a dark room with the boy i like...haha. mmm it was soooo much fun. he gives me butterflies. and hopefully i see him today.
so jamie and kurt are going out again. yay for her. silly kurt was supposed to ask her out on v-day but he has no patience. homo.

this entry is going to be really short i guess. my lips were so numb last night. haha.

happy birthday

steph!!!! my bestestestest friend ever! woo! ha. probably the person i miss theeee most. every day at school i look forward to the two minutes i get to talk to her before second. honestly i cant remember the last time we hung out just me and her. it's been forever. and it sucks. i've been busy, she's been busy. there's really no one to blame, we're both at fault. and it's her birthday today and i feel horrible because i feel like i haven't been the best friend i'm supposed to be. i'm a senior, i should be hanging out with me senior friends. instead, i spend my days with my junior/sophomore crowd of friends. gah. i feel terrible.
but on a happier note.....i'm pretty happy with how things are going in the boy department. nothing's official yet though. oh well. he's really really cute and i get butterflies every time we kiss :) ahhh. a few people told me that he's just looking for pussy and i'm going to get hurt but i'm trying not to believe them. because if that was true then he would have already tried to get into my pants and he hasn't. and another thing: i'm not hurting my friend, she went out with him in november and if he wanted to get back with her he would have. but he picked me. so don't give me the death stare every time i sit on his lap or hug him or look at him. gah. yeah i feel bad for hurting my friend but i can't just stop liking this boy. i finally found a decent guy and i'm not going to give him up that easy. besides, he's like the best kisser ever, you think i'm just going to let that go?? umm no. sorry. haha.

say it with meaning

please. i'm really starting to like you......so don't let me down. now with her single, she might try and get with you....and that won't be cool :( because i finally found a decent guy, one who isn't all just about the physicalness of a relationship..someone who isn't just looking for a hookup, and someone who actually will remember everything and not "forget" the things we do.
so like yeah, i'm pretty happy right now. i'm just hoping it lasts. because only a few weeks ago i was pretty low. and yeah... i found a super cute boy who makes me smile like a retard. haha and i get all fluttery when i think about him :) ahhhhhh. i could write so much but i won't...i always annoy jamie when i talk about him haha. speaking of that coochie, her and kurt are probably getting back together. i hope that's a good thing. idkkkk
i just know i'm smiling like an idiot right now haha. shoot me.
my feet are cold. house is on. subway for dinner. the only thing that would make today perfect would be if i saw him...but it's chill.

breathe carolina

was amazing at chain. except when faggot ass jeffree star showed up on stage. but damn, breathe carolina is seriously the hottest band alive!!! omg i think i jizzed like 5094839729 times last night. and danger radio and envy on the coast were awsome too. so afterwards jamie and i were waiting outside of chain in the rain and who asks us if we want to hang out in their van???? BREATHE CAROLINA!!! like omg one of my favorite bands asked if we wanted to hang with them!! i almost pissed myself. and they were super chill dudes and it was like the funnest show ever. it made me really happy.
until i get a txt saying c hooked up with some chick. but he was drunk, whatev. i'm still super upset that i lost kurt. he was a really good friend. but maybe he'll come back. hopefully me and hunter stay friends. and me and and bre are good. i'm really glad that i didn't lose her over this.
and tomorrow will be interesting....
hopefully it doesnt rain while i'm at school
p.s. i talked to steph today and it made me happy because i have missed her a lot
and i'm not just writing that because you read these steph haha. i mean it.

oh dearr

i fucked up. i think i'm losing one of my closest friends over a boy. and it sucks. last night i felt so many emotions...angry, excited, scared, nervous, happy, really happy, really really really happy, relief, guilt, frustration, worry, upset, confused, embarassment, dirty (okay so i dont think dirty is an emotion but wtfever). last night was crazy. i hooked up with hookup boy again..this time going a bit too far...i was also heavily under the influence of some smirnoff. well my friends weren't too happy about what they walked up on me doing. and pretty much all of the guys were angry at hookup boy the whole night. and my really good friend Hunter wont even talk to me :( to make things worse, i hooked up with my super close friends ex who she wanted to get back with. and now i feel like i'm losing her. meanwhile i'm developing feelings for her ex. and this whole situation sucksssssss because i feel like i finally found a decent guy but i cant have him :( gahhhhhhhh
p.s. jamie got shitfaced and threw up three times haha
p.s.s. running from the police is like the scariest thing in the world